The Twits Give Me the Shits
 

Wankin' in a public lavatory

From a CD by the Twits called Play Music
Music Russell Words Aston

Steely : Have you ever been busted for indecent exposure Fred?
Fred : Twice. Once many years ago in Richomd with I Spit on Your Gravy and not so long ago with the Fuck Fucks in Werribee. You?
S : Once.
F : I'll get you a beer and you can tell me about it...

I was hauled up before the magistrate.
On a charge of lewd behaviour and public masturbate.
In a public toilet young man are you off your nut?
I'm sorry your honour but the door was shut.

Chorus:
The cop comes in his blue uniform.
I made his shirt all sticky and warm.
Wankin in a public lavatory. (X3)

You see it all started so innocently.
Just a call of nature, no-one there but me.
My pants were down and so were my jocks.
I found this picture of Samatha Fox.

Chorus

Young man I fine you 100 dollars for your capers.
What's more you've got your arse in all the Sunday papers.
Incidents like these are not for the public foyer.
They should be done at home in fishnet stockings like me and your lawyer.