The Twits Give Me the Shits
 

Wank 500

From a CD by the Twits called Play Music
Music The Proclaimers & Negro
Words Aston

When I'm wanking, well I know im gonna be
Im gonna be the man who's wanking to next you.
when I go off, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonnna be the man who goes off over you.

If I get drunk, well I know im gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you.
If I heave up, yeah I know im gonna be
I'm gonna be the man whos heaves up over you.

Chorus:
But I would wank 500 times
An' I would wank 500 more
Just to be that man who wanks a thousand times
To blow off at your door.

When I'm comming, yes I know im gonna be
Im gonna be the man who's coming over you you.
When I'm gay, well I know I'm gonna be
(unintelligible)

When I come home, oh I know im gonna be
Im gonna be the man who comes off over poo.
When I blow, well I know im gonna be
Im gonna be thinking about the time I took a poo.

Chorus
verbal accoustics

When im lonely, well I know im gonna be
Im gonna be the man abusing my bacule. (?)
An' when im dreaming, well I know im gonna dream
Im gonna dream about you and la ba boob. (?)

When you're shaggin', when I'm shaggin'
Im gonna be the man who's in the queue.
An' when I go off, yes I know im gonna be
Im gonna be the man stirring porridge up in you

Chorus
verbal accoustics

Chorus