The Twits Give Me the Shits

The Twits, The Gamma Rays & They Might Be Vaginas at the Espy

As I had nothing better to do I decided to walk down to the Espy after finishing the bottle of vodka I had at home. Some people would think it is too far to walk, but they're wimpy as it only takes a bit over an hour (including stopping for dinner.)

The public bar at the Espy was stinking hot as they closed the front door when a band was playing (at least it wasn't as hot as the show I went to before Christmas.)

The Gamma Rays (a surf/fuzz rock band) played first and seemed to be a hit with the ladies. Kaos (formerly of the Fuck Fucks) was on drums and the band mostly played instrumental numbers.

Fred also joined the band for the Brian Wilson song "In My Room".

They Might Be Vaginas (banned in Queensland) were meant to play last but the lead singer said they would be too pissed by then so they played next (I doubt they would be able to follow the Twits anyway.)

People from T.M.B.V.
The Fuck You Man
Bob - "Touch me I'm Bob!"
Stumpy in crotchet dress
Three different drummers including Stumpy
The dancing cowgirl for the first few songs

TMBV is a cowpunk/rock band who hail from Brisbane where Stumpy (real name Andrew) runs a cult video rental store and plays with the band in his spare time. Saying the band was discordant would be putting it nicely as they seemed to be more interested in screwing around (they were still funny to watch though.)

They also played an impromptu "They Might Be Negros" gig with Fred who joined them to sing some I Spit on Your Gravy songs - "Burger Shop Slaughter", "Piranha" and "The Goink" (no one asked them to sing "Harassment" this time.)

During the later parts of their set The Fuck You man managed to destroy part of his bass guitar in the ceiling fan when he was riding on the shoulders of an audience member. Someone else also grabbed the microphone and kept calling out for security when Stumpy lay on the floor naked for one of his songs (the other band members just kicked him). Thankfully Stumpy didn't make good his threat to felch mustard out of the rectum of an inflatable sheep - did I mention the bar pretty much cleared out while they were on? The band also kept abusing each other - "Stumpy's a registered sex offender!", "What would we know we're from Queensland!"

Before the Twits came on, Fudge "Kill Cunts!" the no. 1 Twits fan seemed to be a little under the weather as he sat down on a chair for most of their set and hardly tried to grab the microphone at all (the band dedicated a song to him.)

Also good was the bloke who talked to the audience who's only claim to fame was that he once got a blow job from Olivia Newton-John in Richmond many years ago.

For some reason The Twits played "Get Fucked Cunt!" as there first song (they must have got sick of people asking for it all the time), and then the followed on with some of their newer songs including a version of the Beach Boys "Heroes and Villains"

The funniest part of their set was when they almost broke up and Chris cracked the shits. They also managed to drink their rider during their performance (and then some) as Fred hates bands who don't finish their beer riders.

There ended up being a fairly big crowd towards the end and everyone looked to be having a good time, especially Bob and The Fuck You Man from TMBV who sung along with some of the songs. I think they were finished when I left but the crowd kept wanting them to play more (you have to know when to give it a rest I reckon.)