The Twits Give Me the Shits

Sailors, They Might Be Vaginas & The Twits @ The Espy


I'd been looking forward to this for quite a while as I'd heard quite a bit about They Might Be Vaginas through Fred Negro's 'Pub Strips'.

The Sailors were up first. They do look pretty slick in shirts and ties, but they first thing they said was it was a full moon so watch out for Vernan (the bass player) as he is likely to turn into a 'Were-Faggot'.

They continued this theme with songs such as "Your Cock/My Ass" and "Faggot from China" - "There once was a faggot from China, whose arse was a male vagina. He loved to be kissed while taking the fist."

The 'homosexual dancing monkey' drummer got up to sing "Swasbuckling Faggots" - "YO HO HO and a Bottle of Rum! The Swashbuckling Faggots are after your Bum!"

Their final song, which seemed really popular was "I'll punch the arse with the fist of my cock". They managed to get most of the audience singing along with them too (it was also popular with the ladies for some reason.)

While the next band was setting up, they forgot to turn off the microphones so the "Fuck You Man" from the They Might Be Vaginas got up and started telling jokes as well as bagging the band that was playing upstairs and 'The Secret Life of Us' (until they turned him off that is.)

They Might Be Vaginas from Brisbane were on next, they are a punk band with a lead singer called 'Stumpy' and the 'Fuck You Man' on guitar. There were a few people who came down from Brisbane to see them and said they were 'as ruff as guts', but they could go at it pretty good (the guitarist was fast as was the drummer.) At one point Stumpy got out a jar of Vegemite (he called it 'Vaginamite') and gave himself a thick brown mustache. Most of the band lost their clothes at some point also. The band said they would move down to Melbourne when the 'trains' going down the middle of the road were got rid off.

Here's their set list that I picked up off the floor:

No Eye Dear
Mamma Done (? has more but I forgot it)
Dwarf Fuckin'
Amputee Pie
Party of 5 in my pants
Nursing Home Brothel
Hot Wet Tight (?)
Your Mother's a Monkey
Drip Tray
Joe Sluck
I want to fuck you in the butt
+ Expose (?)

The Twits closed the set, with all the usual stuff that the Twits get up to. It seems they now have some actual real-life punk fans with mo-hawks and everything. It was a good set, but they didn't know when to quit and the end was a debacle with some wanker grabbing a mike and being an idiot. The moshing was good too (TMBV were the best moshers.)