The Twits Give Me the Shits

Fotze, No Idea, Dayglo Abortions and the Twits at the Esplanade Hotel

Gerswhin Room
02:14 5/07/2003

The main reason I went tonight was that I haven't seen the Twits play at the Espy for ages and never in the Gerswhin room (I usually see them in the front bar.)

Even getting to the Esplanade Hotel from my house was a bit of an achievement as I had drunk about half a bottle of vodka (mixed) and then decided to walk down to St Kilda where the pub is. Thankfully I decided to get the tram as I couldn't feel my feet properly. I also got Macca's for dinner (it's the 4th of July after all) as I reckon it would taste the same coming up as it does going down. It also may have something to do with Greasy Joe's across the road being so expensive (I wanted the money for buying drinks.)

Importantly I also decided to take my HULK HANDS along to the pub to see the reaction and to give them a good workout. The results were better than I expected with lots of blokes wanting to try them out and all the punk chicks coming up to talk to me which would never happen usually.

Before the first band started playing I went down to the front bar to see the first couple of songs from a band called Jack Rabbit and the Pubic Hares. If the Twits weren't playing upstairs I probably would have gone to see them as they have some good songs.

Fotze (AYYYY!) sounded pretty good even though I couldn't really hear what they were singing about. It's a punk gig so that doesn't really matter.

The crowd seemed to get a little bit bigger when No Idea took the stage. Steely from the Twits also shook their beers up to piss them off (they have a friendly rivalry with the Twits that led to a pie fight at one gig after someone used a toilet at stage during a CD launch.)

During their set I also met all the of the band members from the Twits and showed off my HULK HANDS (Fred Negro had a go at them.) Steely mentioned something about the emails I sent them and the HULK HANDS but I don't really know what he meant as I was deaf after the first band started playing.

The Twits were great as always even though they only had a 35 minute set. Most of the time was spent throwing beer over the crowd. The smoke machine also overloaded and you couldn't see the band at one stage.

Fred even got to get out the Cantaloupe to have sex with it for T.I.T.S. (This is the show) which is the gag he used to do with the Fuck Fucks. Fudge was asleep out the back though so it wasn't really the same without him yelling "PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!"

Dayglo Abortions from Canada (who also liked the HULK HANDS) had a truly warmed up crowd after the Twits. I don't think they are used to the crowd being so reserved though as they had to yell at everyone to come forward.

The highlights of their set included "Release the hostages", a song written especially to get the women in the audience to show their boobs to the band (it didn't work this time.) Big Arse Truck was a trucking song with a difference. America Eats it's children was a political song that seemed fairly relevant now from what I heard. The encore was a song about Canada which they changed into being about Australia and ended up yelling "Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! OI! OI! OI!".

At one stage I saw the lead singer kick some bloke in the head (he didn't really mind) and the moshers at the front got more active towards the end of the set.

I also ended up meeting some people who said they used to go to high school with me, but I didn't remember them. They acted like idiots anyway.

A good night and a perfect way to continue the four day film & music spree that started on Thursday night with two Hong Kong Films (East is Red & God of Gamblers the Return) and continues over the next two days with the Melbourne Underground Film Festival and Shonkytonk.